Sistahs**How Do You Define A Real Man?
Shalom Bahnote Tzyon,
Make a joyfulnoise today...Shout HaleluYAH and show YAHWAH how much you love Him, and just how thankful you are for all of His blessings!
Let everything that has breath exhalt YAHWAH to the highest!!! For indeed, He is ABSOLUTELY WORTHY OF IT AND WITHOUT ANY DOUBT, DESERVES IT!!!
This toipic is something that we are sisters need to closely examine. What is our definition of a "real man?"
First of all do we have the "right" to define "man", and by what standards. Many of us if not all of us define a "real man" with his employment status or lack there of. My question is, how can we define something or someone when we ourselves don't even have a handle on who we are and what it is that we are suppose to be doing?
But these questions don't matter to us, we continue to define what we think/feel a "real man" is and what he is to do. We have some NERVE!!! 
I feel this is a good place to start our discussion, let's talk about the employment or lack of employment by our men. Again, we will hear what our sister Shahrazad has to say about this in her book "The Blackman's Guide to Understanding the Blackwoman". Sister Shahrazad says:
"The Blackwoman is equally baffled about why the unemployed Blackman cannot find a job and settle into it for a zillion years until retirement. It appears so simple to her and she has no problem finding work of some kind if she really sets her mind to it. She has several survival cushions at her disposal not readily available to the Blackman. If she is single she can some times easily move in with a girlfriend, move back home or with another relative. If she has children and falls on hard times we can get welfare, food stamps, medical care and a place to live. She can get these benefits sick or well. No matter what her age. And she can get them literally for as long as she likes. The Blackman is in no such position. If he falls upon hard times it is difficult, if not impossible, for him to find a place where he is welcome to live with no money. Males do not readily take each other in as women do. Blackwomen also do not take in a Blackman who cannot pull his own weight financially. If he has had relationships with several women who he remains in contact with, sometimes he can live with them for a short while before they become impatient with this displacement and start making snide remarks about his being out of work. His other option is to try to move back home, if he has relatives, or to become homeless and live in a shelter or on the streets as many Blackmen do. He certainly cannot move back home as readily as a Blackwoman. His mother, a Blackwoman, eventually feels the same way as other blackwomen, he should get out and get a job, any job, as long as he makes some money, and he should get out and get him a woman, or he should get out period. Blackwomen give no consideration to the jobless rate of Blackmen and boys in general. She is not the least bit concerned with, what she considers false pride, about what kind of job he will take, how much money he desires to earn, or how he must be treated on a job in order to stay on it. He is expected to suffer any kind of insults or bile treatment as long as he makes some money. Any complaints he makes about why he quite a job or refused to take one are considered to be lame excuses or laziness. She has never been a Blackman in a white society. She has no concept of what it is like. If she lets him move in with her, or continue to live with her when he loses his job, or quits his job, it's not long before she makes him feel like he is the lowest creature in a swamp, as if the sum total of his self-worth is based on the dollar.[
] This is another contradiction because she claims she wants the Blackman home with her, but only when she's there and only if he gives up some money. She takes the lessons of the whore -- if a man sleeps with her he owes her money for the privilege. No romance without finance, or you have to pay to play, are her slogans.[
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If the man she is interested in does not have the education that equals hers he must be at least a self-made man and have a business or inherited money, or drug money, or other -- but he must have some money to make up for his scholastic ignorance - or - the potential to be taught a little class according to her idea. She expects the uneducated Blackman to be extra special in bed. He must be able to do something that she can use as an explanation to her friends about why she is with him. She does not think of telling them that she loves him for being him, or for his values, or because he loves her and treats her well.
When not working at all everything he says is examined with suspicion because she thinks if he isn't working his opinion and authority is invalidated and void until he gets another job. No job. No respect. She may even lose interest in him sexually because she claims she can't get her mind off bills. When he is not working or paying her in some way she thinks that she is providing sex for free.
Broadening the spectrum, if the Blackman quits or gets fired from his "good" job the Blackwoman panics more than he does. She calls her parents and everyone else she knows to inform them of the bad news. All of these people advise her about how to handle it as if she were the wounded party. She immediately becomes worried that she and/or the children will starve to death. She launches a panic rocket landing on the thought of her living in a barrel or some where in the subway,, instead of trying to comfort her man and assure him that they can work something out. She may mention the fact that she can get part-time job (in addition to her full-time one). Her financial security is easily shaken because she can't bear the thought that she might have to change her style of living or give up a few of her material things, and God forbid the neighbors from finding out. She becomes convinced that if he got fired he must have done something wrong, and whatever happened he should have preserved his job. Most of them believe that their security is working in the system for large white owned entities. Many Blackmen never stop looking for the opening by which they can escape a job owned by someone else and own one of his own. His plight at that time is another whole tub of worms and worry. His woman may or may not help him in his quest to go for self. And if he should fail, and some ideas do fail, she lets him know that he should have known that it wouldn't work in the first place. If she really does not like his new business venture idea she will withhold her help. (Chapter 13, Career and Education)
My, my, my!!! Tell me the sistah is lying! I just want to hear one somebody say it and not be lying either!!!
Y'all know that we have been taught that if a man ain't got money...some of us can remember the song "you gotta have a J-O-B, if you wanna be wit' me". We feel that a job and/or money is part of what defines a real man! Where did that logic come from? Where did our mothers and grandmothers get this from? If we don't have a job or money, does that make us less of a woman?
We got to come correct sistahs!
AnaYah
attached is an article I've found, that goes right along with this topic. NOTE: When reading, please insert The Father's Name and/or The Messiah's Name if and where needed.
God’s Definition Of A Good Man
You’ve probably heard someone refer to someone else as a "good man." But what exactly is meant by such a description of a person? In Jeremiah 5:1, God told Jeremiah to see if he could find a good man. The remainder of the fifth chapter of Jeremiah describes God’s definition of a good man.
First, a good man is one who is careful in his dealings with others (5:1.) The ASV renders this as one who "doeth justly." Justice is to be determined, not by what is right in our own eyes, but in light of what is in accordance with God’s law (Psalm 119:66.) The man whom God considers a good man is one who is fair and honest in his dealings with others. Those in the early church were said to be "having favor with all the people" because of the exemplary lives they led (Acts 2:47.)
Second, a good man is one who is committed to seeking the truth (5:1.) Because of his desire for the truth, his interest in what is right is greater than his interest in who is right. A good man is one who places a high value upon the truth (John 8:32, I Corinthians 13:6, I Timothy 3:15, II Timothy 2:15, I Peter 1:22.)
Third, a good man is careful in his speech (5:2.) A good man’s speech is consistent with his lifestyle. A good man is one who speaks the truth. A good man is one who keeps his word, never making promises he is incapable of keeping or has no intentions of keeping (Deuteronomy 23:23, Matthew 5:33-37, James 5:12.)
Fourth, a good man is one who receives correction (5:3-5.) God’s chastisement is a manifestation of his love for us. God’s chastisement serves to correct our faults, strengthen our faith, and help prepare us for eternity.
Fifth, a good man is morally pure (5:7-8.) One of the many lessons we learn from the book of Jeremiah is that apostasy always leads to moral decay. As Christians, we are to shine as lights in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation (Philippians 2:15.)
Sixth, a good man places his confidence in God (5:17, 24.) The people of Jeremiah’s day foolishly placed their confidence in their walled cities. David wrote that God would be his rock and his fortress (Psalm 18:2.) As Christians, we are to trust in the Lord with all our hearts (Proverbs 3:5-6.)
Seventh, a good man is one who is concerned with the welfare of others (5:28.) The people in Jeremiah’s day were consumed with satisfying their own desires. As Christians, we must be concerned with those who are less fortunate than ourselves (Proverbs 31:20, Ephesians 4:28, James 1:27.)
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