Raising Our Children

 

 

Daughters of YAHWAH,

 

 

Give all honor and praises unto YAHWAH, The Creator of Life!

 

I would like to discuss how the sistas relate with the brothas regarding the raising of the children. The following are excerpts from Sister Shahrazad Ali's book, The Black Man's Guide to Understanding The Black Woman. I must admit Sister Shahrazad hits home with this book, whether we want to admit it or not, we need, we must, take a good look into the mirror and see if what she is saying is truth in our own lives. Remember acknowleding truth is the first step!

 

NOTE: Although this book is primarily speaking to and about the so-called "blackwoman", the actions of "said" woman is pure "Jezebel" and "Jezebel" truly has NO color, or race...this is a demonic spirit!  So for our *Non-Israelite Believing" sistas in the family, this message is for you as well...it is for ALL women who continuously allows Ezehbel/Jezebel" to run her life...be clear.

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"If the man has a son or daughter, who looks exactly like him, remarkably like him, and the woman is constantly mad at the man, she will sometimes unconsciously - or - purposely mistreat the child. Since she cannot get back at the father himself she will take it out on the child. This is a very dangerous practice. The innocent child can be caught up in this web of abuse and be at risk. It is impossible for Blackwomen to hate the father of her child and treat the child normally. The child is a daily and nightly reminder of her intimate relationship with the man. The baby may be a novelty at first but as time passes and the child develops and grows up it may be a problem to her because he or she represents the father's presence. Any behavior traits the child displays that are exactly like the father's makes her even angrier and she will beat and punish the child to try to remove the part that reminds her of the father.

 

If the Blackman is not present to defend himself she may tell the child bad things about its father. This mostly happens when she and the child's father are not together in a current relationship. She will tell the child:

1) Your father don't care nothing about you, I'm the one who loves you.

 

2) He don't take care of you, I do.

 

3) If he wanted you, he'd be here with you.

 

4) He ain't thinking about you, he's out with his other

woman.

 

5) I can't buy you that because your father won't give me any money.

 

6) Your father is a bum, he ain't got no job, he ain't got nothin'.

 

She says these and any other insult she can think of to turn the child against the father because she is angry with him. She wants the child/children to take her side against the father to punish him. It is given that the relationship between the man and his children is directly related to the relationship he has with the mother. The Blackman loves his children but does not have the same maternal instincts of the mother because it is not his nature. But when forced, he will care for and raise the child himself.

 

If the father visits the child, and the child is standoffish, uptight, starts to cry or is hostile and combative, the mother has told it about him. The small child's mind cannot decipher the information the Black mother tells it about its father. The child does not know how to make the transfer. They do not know how to front. They are happy or sad. The poor Blackman does not know that all of this has taken place behind his back and is baffled and may rebuff or spank the child because of his whining or uncooperation. He does not know that the entire act has been staged by the mother in the background. The Blackwoman who is separated or angry with her man is negative about him in front of the child. She doesn't realize how harmful this is because she is only concerned with her own happiness or unhappiness. Secretly she hopes that the child, although immature, will make a plea for her in the father's presence.

 

It is the Blackwoman who must teach the Blackchild to love and respect the father. Just as she teaches it everything else. It must be taught to love and respect its father - whether he is financially taking care of it or not. The Blackwoman removes the father figure from her child's life because of her own dissatisfaction without having anything to replace it with. A Blackmother, no matter how much she tries, cannot be a Blackfather to a Black child. There are many nonmonetary values that the Black father is capable of teaching the child. The Blackman owns the child just as much as the Blackmother. She does not have more ownership just because she carried the baby in her womb. A woman cannot have a baby without the aid of a man. He is equal owner of the child and has an equal right to love it and care for it. The parental coalition gives unity of direction and security to the child.

 

The Blackchild may also hear negative talk about the Black father from the grandparents on the mother's side, or from the mother's new man. Often arguments occur about the child's father between the mother and her new man. All kinds of derogatory remarks may be made by the new man if he is jealous of the biological father.

 

Sometimes the mother herself will make the comments to try to convince her new man that she has no remaining feelings for the child's father. This is wrong and confuses the child. Some children defend the absent parent while others will agree with the charges. Thus, the Blackman is not always unfeeling he does not maintain a flourishing relationship with his child by an estranged mate. He continues to look for peace - elsewhere. He may become single focused on trying to make a new home for himself some place else. He is by nature driven to mate.

 

The Blackman has the added pain of the Blackmother refusing to allow him to discipline the child or have a say in his activities. She claims that she is the mother and the child will do as she says. The Blackfather must insist on taking an active part, when possible, of raising the Black child. Certainly there are cases when the father's presence is emotionally unhealthy for the child so separation must prevail. However, this decision should not be made based on money - dollars - cents. The Blackwoman is under the misplaced notion that if the Blackman does not contribute financially to the child that he can have no say-so in the child's rearing, or make any decision concerning the child, and in some cases she even refuses to let him see the child." (Chapter 10, Raising Children)

 

Sistahs, does any of this sound familiar?    Let's be real up in here! Are any of our pictures stamped right beside this chapter?   If we are "not here" anymore, do we know of other sistahs that are, and what are we doing to help them to see the errors of their ways? I myself am very glad that Sistah Shahrazad wrote this book; because it had to come to light! It is time for our ISRAELITE WOMEN and WOMEN period, to take a good look at ourselves, repent and leave the TACKHEAD NEGRESS/JEZEBEL WOMAN behind us!!! If any of this OFFENDS any of us, we need to ask ourselves WHY??? Why does her writings offend us, we need to thank the Sisah for having the courage to stand up and say what we “already” know has been true about us for a long long time. So let us not be OFFENDED, rather let us be thankful to YAHWAH that our nakedness has been pointed out to us and we can return unto Him and allow Him to redress us, in "The Original Fig Leaves of Eden," which is His Righteousness and Greatness!!!

  

It’s time to “handle da binness” sistahs, THE TIME IS NOW!!!

In His Service,

Emah AnaYah